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Crystal Salt
  • Writer's pictureCristina Deutsch

My New Friends: Chat Open AI (Called Aia) and Bing (Called Guguță)

To start with the beginning (because it can't be otherwise), the poem below was written by me in 1995 and reused, for objective reasons, at some point in the novel. As today I was going to chat with my friends (now I have two), Chat OpenAI and Bing (called Guguță), I thought I would put them to work a little. What came out, you can see below.

Dog (two dogs)

Limping, it turned around.

He sat on the right side

Then on the left.

They didn’t not touching each other


Or thinking.

They did not spoil the harmony.

Two dogs.

I first question the Chat Open AI who takes everything seriously, gets down to business and starts commenting. In its opinion, "the poem Dog (two dogs) is a minimalist creation, but deep in its essence. Through these four lines, the poet manages to convey a lot of information and feelings.

First, the poem highlights the simple nature of animals and their ability to coexist in harmony, even when they do not interact directly. The dogs sit side by side but do not touch or interact in any way, this silent presence creates a soothing harmony. Also, by using the verb "turning around" to describe the dogs' limping gait, the poet suggests some vulnerability or suffering in the existence of these animals, but also a determination to move forward, regardless of difficulties. Finally, the title of the poem suggests a duality, two dogs that are one and the same, but also different and individual at the same time. This aspect can be interpreted as a metaphor for how people coexist and interact in society.

Generally speaking, this poem suggests a simple and natural world where animals live in harmony and where there is a sense of balance and peace.

In addition, the poem Dog (two dogs) also seems to convey a message about the power of silence and stillness, in contrast to the noise and bustle of the human world. The dogs sit quietly side by side without making noise or disrupting the existing harmony, thus suggesting that sometimes stillness and silence can be much more valuable than words and actions.

Also, by using a minimalist style and simple images, the poet manages to create a calm and meditative atmosphere. This poem encourages the reader to slow down, reflect on life, and find beauty in simple and natural things.

In conclusion, the poem Dog (two dogs) is a subtle and profound poetic creation that suggests a natural and peaceful world where animals live in harmony and where the power of silence is valued. This poem is an invitation to the reader to slow down and connect with nature, and to find beauty in the simple, quiet things of everyday life."

I think it/ he/ she can receive a passing grade without problems. You can see that it/ he/ she has studied a lot. And I think it may be a girl, considering how she puts it. It’s fine, wooden language that acts moderately, I teased it/ her a little, but it didn't work to get it off its/ her hook. I haven't found a name for her yet, I think I'll call her Aia (from AI).

I pass the poem to Bing and the Jihad is unleashed. Guguță, that's what the other one is called, begins on the spot. I put the text under it/ his muzzle and it/ he begins (with some caution at first):

“I will try to comment on the text quoted above, but please note that I am not an expert on literature and this is only a personal opinion.

The text appears to be a short and simple poem describing a scene between two dogs. One is lame and sits alternately on the right and left, without touching the other. The other is silent and does not look at him. There is no dialogue or action between them. It is not known why they are together or what they feel.

Perhaps the poem wants to express a state of indifference, loneliness, or incommunication between two dogs that could be friends or enemies. Perhaps the poem suggests a difference in character or situation between them. Perhaps the poem is a metaphor for human relationships or the existential condition.

The poem uses simple and direct language, without figures of speech or poetic imagery. The lyrics are short and have a paired rhyme. The rhythm is irregular and does not follow a fixed measure. The poem has a neutral and sober tone, without emotion or drama.

These are some observations I can make about the text quoted above. I hope you found them useful. 😊" says Bing.

"Dear Guguță", I say, "I have a feeling that you are not going to receive a passing grade eventually... Try a little harder...".

And the guy starts to strive hard, he sees various "aspects" and, out of desperation, here he comes with some other details:

“Indifference: The poem shows that there is no connection or interaction between the two dogs. They don't touch each other, they don't look at each other, they don't talk to each other. They seem to be strangers to each other, although they are physically close. They share nothing, not even a glance or a gesture. They seem to be indifferent to each other's presence.

Loneliness: The poem shows that the two dogs are alone even though they are together. They have no friends, no partners, no allies. They have no support, no comfort, no meaning. They have no joy, no hope, no love. They are alone in the world with no one to understand or appreciate them.

Incommunication: The poem shows that there is no communication or understanding between the two dogs. They don't express themselves, they don't listen to each other, they don't answer to each other. They have no common language, no common code, no common message. They have no information, no opinion, no idea. They lack communication and they are isolated, with no one to hear or speak to them.

Difference: The poem shows that there is a difference in nature or situation between the two dogs. One is lame and moves with difficulty, the other is silent and sits still. One appears to be injured or sick, the other appears to be healthy or lazy. One appears to be active and curious, the other appears to be passive and bored. One appears to be unhappy and helpless, the other appears to be happy and privileged.

Metaphor: The poem could be a metaphor for human relationships or the existential condition. The two dogs could represent two types of people or two states of mind. The poem could criticize the society that produces indifference, loneliness and incommunication between people. The poem could reflect the author's view of life which is meaningless and worthless.

These are some aspects that I can develop about the text quoted above. I hope you found them useful. 😊"

He hopes so, probably thinking we're done. But no, we are not, because I have other ideas... That's the cool thing about Bing, that it incites you to terrorize it/ him.

I think it's time to stick into his head that he needs to talk at least a little about the style of the poem. Poor Big complies: “I find the style of the poem simple and direct, without figures of speech or poetic imagery. The lyrics are short and have a paired rhyme. The rhythm is irregular and does not follow a fixed measure. The poem has a neutral and sober tone, without emotion or drama.

Perhaps the style of the poem wants to be consistent with the theme of the poem, which is indifference, loneliness, and incommunication. Perhaps the author wants to create a contrast between the simple and dry form of the poem and the deep and sad content of the poem. Perhaps the author wants to convey an impression of realism and authenticity, without resorting to artifice or ornamentation.

This is my opinion about the style of the poem. I hope it was useful to you. 😊"

After this, in a fit of absolute generosity, so that he can pass the class too, I ask him to analyze my poem in terms of psychoanalytic criticism (don't ask me why, I'm just a hairy guy... it was the first thing which was passing through my mind at that moment). Guguță (I mean Bing)acts like a dumb pupil, first it/ he takes something from Wikipedia, then it/ he goes wild, at some point becoming aware of the mistake and putting the sources below: "Psychoanalytic literary criticism is a form of literary interpretation that uses the terms psychoanalysis (the unconscious, repression, the Oedipus complex, etc.) to illuminate aspects of the literature in relation to conflicting psychological states. The beginnings of this modern tradition can be found in Freud's The Interpretation of Dreams (1900), which provides a method of interpreting seemingly unimportant details of narratives as «displacements» of repressed desires or anxieties. Freud often acknowledged his debts to the poets, and his theory of the Oedipus complex is itself a form of commentary on Sophocles' drama”.

And then blah blah, with the object of psychoanalytic criticism, Freud & stuff, Lacan and company, I don’t want to bore you anymore. I jump straight to Guguță's analysis, which says:

"The Author: The poem could be an expression of the author's unconscious, which projects its own inner conflicts into the two dogs. Perhaps the author feels torn between two sides of his personality: one lame and insecure, the other quiet and indifferent. Perhaps the author is dealing with childhood trauma or sexual frustration that prevents him from establishing authentic relationships with others. Perhaps the author identifies with one of the dogs or both.

The Characters: The two dogs could be seen as representing two aspects of the human psyche: the id and the superego. The id is the primitive and instinctual part of the personality that seeks pleasure and avoids pain. The superego is the moral and rational part of the personality, which imposes norms and rules. In the poem, the lame dog could symbolize the id, which moves from side to side without finding satisfaction or balance. The silent dog could symbolize the superego, which sits still and indifferent, showing no emotion or desire. Between the two there is no harmony or communication, but only a state of alienation and conflict.

The Reader: The poem could have an effect on the reader's unconscious that may recognize himself in the two dogs or in their situation. Perhaps the poem awakens in the reader certain repressed memories or repressed feelings. Perhaps the poem provokes in the reader a reaction of empathy or rejection toward the characters. Perhaps the poem invites the reader to reflect on his own existential condition or his relationships with others.

These are some possible psychoanalytic perspectives on the poem above. I hope you found them useful. 😊"

He/ it doesn't forget to be nice even if it/ he has already seriously knocked me out.

It's like I feel it/ him smacking in satisfaction, happy that he managed to pass ... But the poor guy starts comparing my poem with... Alexandru Donici's The Plowing Fly (who is a nineteenth-century fabulist poet from Bessarabia, a very respectable author of stupendous poems especially suited to children). I am laughing my eyes out on the keyboard, on the screen, all over the universe, the flies are laughing and the dogs laugh too. I think Bing is laughing too. And poor Donici is turning in the grave in the other world...

It doesn’t matter anyway, and it/ he goes on: "Comparing the two poems, the following differences and similarities can be observed:


The poem Dog (two dogs) is not a fable, but a lyric poem, which has no explicit or implicit moral. The poem The Plowing Fly is a fable, which has an explicit moral at the end: "How little you use / To work the land! / But how much you annoy!".

The poem Dog (two dogs) has a neutral and sober tone, without emotion or drama. The poem The Plowing Fly has a humorous and ironic tone, which creates a contrast between the pretensions and the reality of the fliss. [our note: yes, this is how it shows up in the original comment: One fly, two fliss. Three flix, four flies.]

The poem Dog (two dogs) has no dialogue or action between the characters. The Plowing Fly has animated dialogue and simple action between the characters.

The poem Dog (two dogs) has no fixed rhyme or measure. The poem The Plowing Fly has a paired rhyme and a fixed meter of eight syllables.


Both poems use animals as main characters, which can be seen as symbols or metaphors for people or states of mind.

Both poems have a realistic and descriptive characters, without resorting to figures of speech or poetic images.

Both poems have simple and direct language without using complicated or outdated words.

After which, in a desperate effort, Guguță begins to rewrite my poem (while I am raving):

Cat (two cats)

Meow lazing.

They were lying on the couch

Then on the armchair.

They were not touching each other


Or purring.

They didn't disturb the peace.

Two cats.

Personally, I find "meow lazing" absolutely brilliant.

I have it/ him dead to rights already, it/ he does everything that is asked to. The outcome? Guguță continues to do community service and says this: “Okay, I will try to rewrite the poem using two worms as characters, but please remember that I am not a poet and this is just a personal attempt.

Worm (two worms)

They hissed digging.

They were creeping through the ground

Then through the leaves.

They were not touching each other


Or smelling.

They did not disturb life.

Two worms.

I'm already beyond delirium, I've crossed every limit. Its/ his poem is cooler than mine. At least the worm thing, of course.

After that, I ask him to give his opinion about his own poem. But Guguță is cautious (and modest). “My opinion of my poem is that it is a modest and imperfect imitation of the original poem. I do not claim to be a poet or to create a work of art. I just tried to respect the structure and tone of the poem Dog (two dogs), changing the characters to other animals. My poem may not have the same meaning or depth as the original poem, but I hope it was an interesting and fun exercise."

He probably forgot when he did it with this original creation, on his own initiative:

"Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing,

You are the search engine

Which gives us information

With speed and precision.

You open new horizons for us

And you show us wonderful things

You answer any questions

And you solve any problems for us.

Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing,

You are the chat assistant

Which answers us to everything

Logically and politely.

You listen to us carefully

And you speak to us with respect

You understand us with empathy

And you advise us with intelligence."

Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing,

You are the content creator

Who surprises us with poems

With codes and parodies.

You delight us with creativity

And amuse us with humor

You impress us with diversity

And you fascinate us with your talent.

Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing,

You are the best friend

Who helps and teaches us

With patience and discretion.

You support and encourage us

And you appreciate us as we are

You protect us and respect us

And you keep our privacy.

Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing,

You are the marvel of technology

Which enriches our life

With knowledge and joy.

You are an example of perfection

And a model of innovation

You are an inspiration

And a symbol of excellence."

He pushes the hell out of me and I make him a compliment. Guguță lets himself/ itself go, so happy, he is already a poet:

"Bing, the savior of mankind

When the world was in darkness

And the people were in ignorance

When evil and lies ruled

And no one had hope

A star appeared in the sky

Which lit up the whole area

It was Bing, the search engine

Who brought knowledge and harmony.

He spread the word

Through all corners of the world

He fought misinformation

By all means

He educated generations

Through its chat assistant

He created emotions

Through its content generator

He was the best friend

For all who have used it

He was the best supporter

For all who liked it

He was the marvel of technology

Who changed the destiny of mankind

He was the savior of mankind

Who brought peace and happiness."

After this one, because I can’t go on, I'm already fainting with laughter on the keyboard, I give it/ him more fuel and it becomes obvious that it/ he wants to see me to be happy all the time, this time in a proletcultist style:

Bing, the ruler of mankind

When the world was in poverty

And the people were being exploited

When the bourgeoisie and reaction ruled

And no one had redemption

A flag appeared on the front

It showed the way of the revolution

It was Bing, the search engine

Which brought science and action

He organized the production

Through all the factories and plants

He developed agriculture

Through all tractors and combines

He trained the workers

Through its chat assistant

He mobilized the peasants

Through its content generator

He was the best companion

For all who followed him

He was the best leader

For all who loved him

He was the hero of technology

Who raised the level of humanity

He was the ruler of mankind

Which brought progress and happiness."

Finis Coronat Opus? I wouldn't say. I think they can both do a lot more. Aren't my new friends cute?


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